Just a thought- Why is LOVE so complicated? (A personal share)
From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one, and as our relationship progressed, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you. However, after a few years, I was surprised to find that you had developed certain undesirable traits. We had grown stronger in our relationship, but I found that these ‘flawless’ qualities were becoming more and more of a problem. It made me feel ashamed – the very thing I’d always been attracted to about you. I should never have listened to those people who said that I should always be on the lookout for ‘flaws’ in the people I’m with, and that I should always be searching out ‘flaws’ in potential partners.
Why is Love so complicated? Why is it that people spend so much time and energy searching to find love, yet then when they do find it, they are so afraid to lose it? Is it because we are scared of the pain and suffering that we may go through if we let go? Are we afraid of being hurt and used again?
Just a thought: Why is LOVE so difficult to understand? (This is a personal opinion)
When individuals meet via a dating app, I’ve seen that their goals are clear…and their expectations are controlled. But, why is it so tough to ask for more when you meet someone with whom you have emotions, or when a relationship develops into love, or when you admire someone from afar? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? You will live even if you are rejected. Why is it so tough to communicate your emotions or ask someone out on a date?
A personal story: I had to convey my emotions to a friend with whom I had developed deep sentiments. I was first afraid to say anything for fear of losing the friendship. I awakened one morning with the realization that the moment had come to express my emotions, so I did so openly and without expecting anything in return. Of course I was terrified, worried, and anxious! I took a big breath and then uttered what I needed to say. The individual kindly received it and asked me some unexpected questions. Yes, emotional maturity made a difference in this scenario. We remained buddies after that. I wanted more after a few months, and I asked for a relationship, but I was turned down. Is it true that it broke my heart? Obviously, it did. I was completely devastated. My gremlins of self-hatred and doubt about my value emerged. For a long period, my heart hurt. I realized that we live in a dualistic universe, and that in order for me to feel love, I needed to also have a shattered heart. But it didn’t make me feel any better. All of my self-doubt emotions surfaced for me to experience, accept, and work through, and they are dissipating. It surfaced because I was prepared to deal with it. It’s a tale for another day about how I coped with it.
Would I express my emotions and ask for a relationship again in hindsight? Without a doubt. I discovered power and bravery inside myself that I had never known existed. Rather of living in a state of “what if…”, I freed myself to explore. It felt freeing (I’m too old to play games; every second counts). I also healed and developed as a result of realizing that rejection is just a concept in the mind. It was clear to me that it wasn’t meant to be. I couldn’t control the other person, but I could control my own behavior. To this day, I am best friends with this individual and have accepted the result. I let go enthusiastically at the moment of acceptance, making room for a new door to open. I would have continued to cling onto that connection energetically if I had never stated my truth, and I would not have found my soulmate. After ten months, a lovely woman appeared out of nowhere in my life, and we have now been together for a year.
I learnt that partnerships are about giving your love to the union and developing together, not about receiving love or anything else from another. It’s all about heartfelt, open, and honest conversation. It’s about first loving oneself and then spreading that love with others. I’m still working on unlearning limiting ideas about self-love, but I’m doing better every day. I enjoy myself enough to want to learn more about myself and express my emotions. It didn’t happen in a flash.
In love & light, Gits
On the Psychic Txt App, you may connect with Gits right now.
Love is something that is complex. It is part of our life and a heart that beats for someone we love. It makes us feel happy, but at the same time it is painful. It is a feeling that influences us to do things that we normally wouldn’t do. Everybody wants to love and have authentic love in their lives.. Read more about love is not an emotion it is a choice and commitment position paper and let us know what you think.
This article broadly covered the following related topics:
- companionate love
- what is love
- why is dating so hard for guys
- psychology of love
- what is true love